Santa Clause is Coming to Town

How creepy is that? An old man, from God knows where, is coming to a town near you, sneaking into your house at night, and eating your food. He knows when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, and he knows if you've been bad or good. Creepy. Yea, this is only me reading into things way too much, but I've hated that song for a long time. Santa seems like a pervert.

Christmas is a few days away. Like every year, I am home with the family. I've been here a little over a week now, and it's been nice to relax, even though I still don't think I know what that means. I can't stop thinking about the Corps. Yes, I know that's sad, but after a very tough semester, it is very important that I begin to think of these things. This semester, academically, it didn't go so well. I ended up with below a 3.0 so I felt a little hypocritical. I stress grades so much with everyone in the outfit, and then I don't perform myself. I didn't do horrible I suppose, I just didn't achieve my goal. I could blame it on everything I have on my plate, but that's no excuse either. I applied for Commander. Well, I very hesitantly and thoughtfully applied for Commander. No one else applied, and I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I would love to be the Commander of B-Company. There are few things that I have encountered in my life in which I have developed as much passion as I have for B-Company and everything we stand for. If I don't get Commander, which is still a possible possibility, I know I am going to be really upset. That's a good thing though, in my opinion. Why apply for something in which you will be apathetic for if you don't get it? Those that know me, know I am very unique. The way I lead, the way I motivate, the things I stand up for. Most don't understand, and it is very few that know me well enough to truly have my back. Those people are my buddies, and of course a few others. It's inspiring really, and makes the Corps well worth it. I just hate all the drama and politics. But, honestly, when will we ever get away from all that, whether we are in high school, college, or the work force. Gah. It sucks sometimes.

Besides the 'relaxing' that I claim to be doing at home, there have been some tough times during this short respite. My uncle has had a cousin that has been working in the area that has stayed over at the house a few times. I met him for the first time early last week, along with a friend who traveled with him. Well, last Wednesday they were traveling home to Kansas when they got in a serious car accident. Their work van hit an 18-Wheeler head on. The friend died on the scene, and my uncle's cousin is still in the hospital in a coma. They say every part of his brain is damaged. My aunt and uncle went to Kansas that afternoon, and left me in charge of the house, and all the kids. I know I am not ready to be parent. I felt like I was treating them like fish in the Corps. I only wish I could have smoked them. They came back Friday, so they weren't gone too long, but I know they are going through some tough times dealing with all of that. We're all praying and hoping for the best.

These past few weeks I have definitely been at the lowest point of my semester. All the Corps stuff I've been dealing with. The talking and politics, like I mentioned before, usually don't get to me, but they did. Made me think, made me question myself. Someone told me that the band director had said that the Commander of B-Company for next year would be from outside of B-Company. This is the main reason I was so hesitant in applying. I lost a little faith in myself, which is horrible to admit. Talking to my buddies, I realized how much a lot of them have faith in me, and made me a little more confident. I don't give a shit what the band director has to say. I am going to make the experience as worthwhile as possible for everyone in B-Co, and if that means breaking a few rules, (or a lot of rules), then so be it. We're gonna have fun, and we're going to do what we've always done. That's why we stand out. For some reason, I have been a lot more emotional too. This doesn't mean I break down and cry all of the time, (or any!), I just seem to be more thoughtful, more…not hesitant, but I think a lot about things. On my way home from College Station I made some mixed CD's to listen to. I bought a Neon because my other car broke down, and it has a 10 disk CD changer. Usually I just connect my iPod up, but I didn't have the connector thing. Anyway, a lot of the songs I was listening to brought up so many thoughts. Mainly love. In an overwhelming majority of my blogs I talk or mention love. Summer before college I met someone through Upward Bound. I still swear to this day that she is the person for me. We kept in touch through freshman year, and the soon after lost complete touch. The thing is that she was, and still is in a very serious relationship. Despite that obvious fact, we still had a goodbye kiss on the last day of Upward Bound, three summers ago. I will never forget the feeling I had after that kiss. Well about a week ago, she emailed me, talked a little bit about how she was doing, and told me to give her a call. It took me a few days but I did, and we talked a little bit. She is still with her boyfriend, which is upsetting. I know I could provide a lot more than he can for her. I know I could give her a better life. I think we would be happy. We were supposed to get together and have lunch or dinner sometime over this break, but then the other stuff came up with the family which prevented that from happening. I can't bring myself to tell her how I feel, only because she seems happy. For those of you that really know me, you know this is not like me to talk about anyone this way. It is rare that I come across someone like this. Actually it has only happened twice. I am not head over heels for her, mainly because I haven't seen her, talked to her, and after so much time I have lost that strong feeling, but it is definitely still there. I know it could develop to be something amazing given the opportunity. The other person is my "taboo" that I talk about in a few of my blogs. It was that relationship that should have never happened but did. It was that 'thing' that ended in the summer, but I have still not gotten over it. It's not to the point where it affects all of my actions and decisions, however all of my actions and decisions remind me of it. It seems that every song I listen to, I try to relate it somehow with my emotions about this relationship. It ended on very bad terms, and it is something that I have always said I would never forgive someone for, yet if faced with this person again, I think I would take them back, as much as I hate to say it. The crappy thing is that I see them all the time, practically on a daily basis when I am in College Station. We don't speak or even make eye contact, most of the time. We sort of spoke once about things, last month. I made the move, which was a mistake. Right now, with what is going on, and in the situation we are both in, it is not right for us to talk. I think talking would help provide closure on my part, yet the time is not right. I wasn't thinking, and they brought this to my attention. It was kind of a shot to the heart, but definitely true. What I don't understand is why, six months later, I am still not over it. I think about it all the time, more than I should. I never talk about it though. It seems irrelevant, and in the past, but I can't help it. I guess only time will tell.

On a happier note, I finally got my senior boots and my Aggie Ring! I got it on the day of the MEDALS conference, so I didn't have a very exciting Aggie Ring day, but Pedro made it well worth it. Pedro is also in MEDALS with me, and we both left during the conference to go pick my ring up. Well, we sort of stole the University van we were using for the conference to get there. We picked up some buddies at the dorm, (actually like 8 of them), then drove to the Association building where the rings were. Parking is not allowed there, but since we were in a University vehicle, it was okay. So we parked on the curb right outside of the building, and started looking for the end of the line. Well Pedro found the front, and I have no idea how, but he forced me in. All in all, I think it took me about 15 minutes to get my ring, in a line of hundreds of people. I felt like a VIP. It was a good time, quick, but I enjoyed having my buddies there. That night was also BQ Ball, the band formal, so we left the conference for that too. The dance was a lot of fun. They didn't seem to play a lot of music I liked but Megan, by Fish Camp partner, was my date, and Maggie, another girl from Fish Camp went with one of the fish from B Battery. We all hung out together and had a blast, I thought anyway. We got back to the dorm, and then had to go back to the hotels for the rest of the conference. The next day we went to the conference, and got back to the dorm. I was going to dunk my ring! We went out to one of my buddies places and I dunked it. Dunking your ring is an awesome Aggie tradition where you put your ring in a pitcher of your favorite beer and chug the pitcher, catching the ring in your teeth. It's a good time J Well, most people finish in less than three minutes. It took me 27 minutes! I am a little embarrassed to admit that, but I just didn't feel good. I'm not a big drinker anyway, and I kept throwing up, so it just didn't taste good. Whatever, I dunked it. I had planned to dunk it again over the summer with the rest of my friends after I had turned 21, but it looks like I'll be in California on my 21st birthday. I guess this is my public announcement, but I enlisted in the Marine Corps. This seems crazy, and like it was on a whim, but I swear it wasn't, completely anyway.

Explanation: Most of you know that the Marine Corps is something I've been considering since my senior year in high school (3 years now!!). Well I had a contract to be an officer going to college, but it didn't work out. Then I tried several times to pick up another contract, yet that never seemed to fall through for many reasons (I am underweight, my knee condition, etc.). I was to the point where I said that the Marine Corps was not going to be a part of my life. I looked at the Peace Corps, Teach for America, Grad School, and various other options for after graduation. It all seemed exciting, but there was still a void. A week ago yesterday I was in Decatur, a town near my hometown, just running some errands. I was close to the Marine recruiting station that recruited me the first time, so I decided to stop by ask some questions, and see what was new. I didn't realize some of the options I had with me being in school and all. To make a long story short, I filled out all the paperwork and went to Dallas that night to be medically processed. I took the Oath of Enlistment the next morning. I made weight by two pounds, and I didn't talk about my knee condition, but for one very important reason: to be a Marine. When I was driving home, I felt very complete, as if the void had been filled. What I am going to do is go to boot camp this summer. I will return to school in the fall as normal, and do my other training the next summer. Then I will go back to school if needed, and whenever I graduate, I will go do my Corps stuff. I am a Reservist, so even during the year I will be doing training one weekend a month. I won't have to quit school, and I won't get shipped off. More importantly, I will be living my dream. I will graduate Private First Class, and will be promoted to Lance Corporal very shortly afterward. With my college degree I will be very marketable, and I will get a view of the Marine Corps that a lot of officers don't have. To be an officer you never have to go to boot camp, which in my opinion does not make sense. A lot of enlisted men I have talked to say that it is very important for officer's to have had that experience. They don't respect them as much as they respect someone who has gone through the exact same things. It makes sense, and is another reason I am choosing to go the enlisted route. That, and the fact that the officer program won't take me right now. If I choose to be an officer now, I will have had the USMC enlisted experience, as well as my degree. I believe this is what I want to do, and it is a decision that has taken me three years. I am very excited about boot camp, and everything that that entails. It does have me making quick decisions and making some sacrifices. Boot camp is three months. If I am commander, it is very important that I be here for FOW which will be around August 10th. That means I have to leave before May 10 to make it back on time. More than likely I will not be here for Final Review, meaning I will miss walking for the first time in boots and my seniors pulling them. It's that or FOW, where I will meet my fish for the very first time. I have not told many people about this decision. I am scared that something will happen in regards to my knees that will prevent me from being able to go and perform this summer. Right now my ship date is May 27, but I am working on getting it moved up. When I was in Dallas I kept thinking about what if I got Commander, and what I would be missing doing the summer, and how much extra I would have to prepare during this spring. I felt like I had to make a quick decision about who my Executive Officer would be. This seems cocky, but I think I had the right intentions. This by no-means means that I think I will be C.O., it just means I am taking proper measure to make sure I do the best job that I can if I get it, and if I leave for the summer. I called that person from Dallas, talked to them about my decision and about how they would feel being X.O. They were excited, and definitely had my back about everything. I felt relieved, and I know they will do an awesome job. I've relied on them a lot this year too with everything I have been dealing with, and if anyone can do the job with the mindset I have, it's them. I won't ruin any surprises though J

To sum everything up, I AM excited about this upcoming semester, but I know it will be tough with even more obstacles to face. One of the sophomores will be taking my position in the Corps, and I have great faith in every one of them that applied. The freshmen are still the best in the band, and are developing very well. The juniors, my buddies, are still bad ass. The seniors need to get the hell out of here so '09 can be in charge! (Just kidding '08, but not really.) This blog is several days in the making, so let me know what you think! Also, to all my friends, those close to me, and those who I've grown apart from, I love you all, and please be safe this holiday season. Until next time, God Bless, thanks, and Gig 'Em!

Danny Hernandez '09

Proudest Member of the Fightin' Texas Aggie B-Company