Thanksgiving and the Corps Dilemma

I have about two weeks until the semester is over. I can't believe how fast the fall went by. Tomorrow is the fist day of December, and I know I have so much to think about and get finished. I have a sociology paper due tomorrow, and some Logic extra credit I have to get finished, then its on to studying for FINALS. I'm not looking forward to that. I have been feeling sick for the past few days. My nose is runny, I feel fatigue, my head hurts, my throat hurts, and I just feel blah. I got a flu shot yesterday, so maybe that'll help. I got to go home last week for the holidays, and that was a lot of fun. I rode the Greyhound bus home on Wednesday. I told myself I wasn't going to ride that bus again, but I did, and I have yet another story to tell. I switched buses in Ft. Worth to one traveling to the Decatur stop. Well on that bus there were about 5-10 people, not that many. One of those people was a guy who was either drunk or mentally retarted, honestly you couldn't tell, and the only reason I think he may have been drunk is because he asked to listen to my iPod and I could smell alcohol on his breath. I told him no, by the way. Well he started talking to this girl and all of a sudden the girl gets up and tells the bus driver something. The drunk/retarted guy had exposed himself to her and he was sitting in a seat, (two behind mine), completely shirtless. The bus driver started yelling at him and told him to put his clothes back on and behave. This guy was about in his 30's with a mullet on his way to Cali. I was so frikin weirded out. I should have guessed something was up with the guy when he was escorted onto the bus by a cop. Well after I got off at Decatur, the bus driver said that they would be there less than 5 minutes. I was waiting for my ride to get there to take me home, when I noticed the bus was still there and people were getting off the bus. I'm not sure what happened, but the ambulance came along with several cop cars. My uncle says that when he pulled up he saw a white guy on the asphalt next to the bus. Everytime I ride with Greyhound something weird always happens. I will more than likely use them again, but if you can DON'T GO GREYHOUND. Well anyway, I got home, went over to Veva's for Thanksgiving, had our own Thanksgiving on Friday, watched the t.u./A&M game from home. We almost won, which is good for how bad we suck and how good t.u. is! Friday afternoon I took my brother, sister, and Carlos to go see Harry Potter again. It was just as awesome as the first time. AFter that I took Carlos to Wal Mart so he could pick out a birthday present. He got a game for his Gameboy that I bought him as well. Saturday we had a party for Carlos, and that is when I saw most of my family. It was good seeing everyone. Saturday I also went to Steven's Street Grill to put in my application to work during the winter break. They have a new manager who seems pretty cool. He's like 22. I also got to see Josh on Saturday so that was even cooler. I hadn't seen him since June, and it was good to catch up. Sunday we went to church and my uncle brought me back to A&M. Now I am here at school, working on a million things but taking it easy and not getting too stressed out. Originally when I left the Corps, I had every intention to come back. I gave my buddies a maybe. After living life as a "non-reg" I have been able to accomplish so much and meet people and have so much more fun than I would have had in the Corps. I never said that I never wanted to come back but then after a while thats kind of where I was leaning. I had decided that if I did go back it would only be because of my buddies and the upperclassmen who care; Mr. Listi, Miss Sanchez, and Miss Long. Honestly no one else cares like they do. I thought Mr. Guerra did but it turns out he is a judgemental asshole as I found out from a conversation I had with him today (which wasn't the first on the topic) on the way back from West Campus. Once you've been in the Corps for a while you seem to talk about it a lot, which I have noticed that I do a lot when I am with my "non-reg" friends. After talking with Mr. Guerra I've got to thinking. I want to go back, but then again I don't. I don't want to go back for several reasons. First of all it is very stressful, and I don't work well under stress. They require so much of you, and your studying time is greatly diminshed. You have to get up super early and you fall asleep in your classes. You have to take a Naval Science class which is a complete blow off and waste of money and time. You can't want, think, like, or feel. You can't wear normal clothes, you can't say certain things, you can't do certain things, you have to speak a certain way, you get treated like a little kid, you get yelled at constantly and you cry. Every thing has to be perfect, your stuff put away in a certain way, etc. and you spend a lot of time making it perfect. You have four years of the undergraduate college student experience. The Corps seems like a waste of that experience. However, this is what I am feeling now. The part of me that wants to go back wants to go back because when you wear those senior boots, you are the SHIT! Marching with the Aggie Band on Kyle Field was the best experience ever. Knowing that you made it through has got to be an amazing feeling. You help out the underclassmen, and you make the friends of a lifetime. This is what one of my fish buddies (Jenkins) wrote me:

wee man....you have to come back! It will never be the same without you hernandez you are a b co fish and you need to be here. we dont care if you cant run...we dont we just want you here, you can make it with us here for you. just remember that and picture you lil legs in some of those awesome boots....with us....walking around the quad like big dogs everyone callen us sirs/ma'ams and whippen out to us...us walken on grass...us yellen out the window "hey fish...what outift you in?" just remember that when your maken you decision and know that buddies are forever and you know not just anyone can be a b co fish, it takes someone hard, dedicated, and good...someone like you. remember that and remember we all want you back, even the upperclassmen(no one has taken you spot and says we must protect this house...) were waiten for you to do it... well i luv ya buddy
jenkins

It's all of that stuff that makes me want to come back. But what if I go back and realize even more that its not for me. I can't quit twice. If I go back it will be for good. I just need to call my aunt and see what she thinks, and talk to Angie and Diany. I just don't know. I thought I knew.... If I do it would be cool and in the end it will be awesome knowing that I did something not everyone can do and made it above the challenge. I just don't know.....