'09 -- More than just a Whoop

It's the last day of 2008. I've been home for almost two weeks and I will head back to College Station this weekend. It's been a good visit. My allergies have bothered me every day that I've been here, but that's normal. We had Christmas; a rosary on Christmas Eve, with gift opening afterwards. Of course our Christmas Eve tradition would not be complete without my family messing up the traditional praise songs and making inappropriate jokes about the gifts afterward. It makes me laugh and I sit back and wonder if this is the first year we've celebrated Christmas this way. It's not; it's actually something we've done since before I was even born, which makes it funnier. I haven't worked while I've been here, and there is no bowl game to worry about this year. Thanks Ags. I've done my best not to think too much about Corps stuff but if you know me you know that is not an easy feat. I work on something every day, even if it's just for a little bit. But it's all almost over.

2009. Whoop!

2009. Its really here. That year seemed so far off into the distance, and now it's less than a few hours away. It's the year where I will make a lot of decision that will impact the rest of my life. Should I stay or should I go? It's the year where chapters of my life story will end and new ones will begin. The end of the Corps. The end of my undergraduate career at Texas A&M. The beginning of many other things. So much to think about. Where to begin…

Past:

FRIENDS. It has been an amazing year. I have been blessed with many new friends, but more importantly kept a lot of the same ones. Angie and Diany; two of my closest friends who I can rely on for anything. From our meeting at Fish Camp back in 2005, all three of us will graduate this year.

BUDDIES. I have had the unique opportunity to be a member of the Corps of Cadets, the Aggie Band, and B Company. I have met my best friends – guys and girls I will be able to count on for the rest of my life. My brothers and sisters. How blessed I am to have them all in my life. Mari got married this year. Josh and Olivia both got engaged, Josh a few days ago, Olivia a week or so ago. Josh asked me to be his best man. A few others are planning on tying the knot…maybe. Two Street Fighters have already joined the ranks, little Matthew James and Ella Rodriguez. I can't even imagine getting together five years down the road and seeing everyone older, a little more weight put on, married with kids. We have a semester left together, and I have no doubt that in that time we will make some awesome memories. I can wait for it to be over and I'm not wishing it away.

LAST ON KYLE. My last game on Kyle was November 1, even though everyone else's was a week later. Unfortunately I had drill with my unit the weekend of the last home game. Also during that weekend was Marine Corps Ball. I remember sitting in the hotel about to get ready for the ball. It was the second quarter and the Ags were behind – we were playing OU. I decided to text all my buddies throughout the band, just basically telling them good luck, to enjoy it, and to remember it forever. A few texted me back and we had brief text conversations about it, and about what I was doing. My date to the ball had recently informed me that her bronchitis had gotten worse and she would not be able to make it to the ball. I was going stag to my first Marine Corps Ball. At that point it was close to half time, and Riley, a buddy from A Co told me he would call me right before halftime and would put the phone in his pocket so I could listen. It sounds cheesy but it was one of the coolest things anyone had ever done for me. I heard the run up, Colonel Brewer's speech to the seniors, and the entire halftime show. Although my last physical time on Kyle was the game before I felt like I was there with my buddies. After the half was over there was more expressed sympathy about me not having a date. I was getting ready to leave the hotel room when Riley informed me that he would be driving Mary Ann, (my Executive Officer) to the Ball to be my date. They would leave a bit early from the game and drive to Waco as Mary got ready in the car. I couldn't believe it. When I told Colonel Brewer, (one of my band directors and B Company class of '81), the story and told him how I couldn't believe it, he simply replied, "I can." Those are my buddies and that's how far they were willing to go for me. It turned very quickly from what could've been a bad night, to one of the best nights of my life. I had a blast, talked to an old Street Fighter, Class of '01, who is the wife of my Platoon Sergeant, had a nice dinner, and drank the all you can drink beer, for free. This experience combined was my last time on Kyle. I'll never forget it.

GOD. A friend of mine, David Lugo, (not to be confused with my buddy, David Lugo), has been signing me up for this Catholic retreat called Aggie Awakening (AA). So many people sign up that it is done on a lottery system. For this fall's retreat, I made the list. The retreat would take place during our only free weekend of the semester. After much thought and much convincing by my roommate who had gone to AA before, I decided to commit myself to this retreat for the weekend. I paid the dues and started to become a little uneasy about it. I just didn't know what to expect. I went on the retreat. Day one, I was there, going through the motions, not really feeling it. Day two, more and more retreaters were really feeling the Lord. I could see it in their eyes, and I was jealous of the fire they had for God. I however, couldn't do it. I couldn't surrender; I couldn't exclaim how excited I was. Honestly, I wasn't and I felt bad that I would go back to campus and tell my roommate and David that AA was not what I thought it would be. Day three came and I was there. It took some talking, some thinking, some prayer, and finally, FINALLY, I was able to say I surrender. It was a simple conversation on the topic of inner struggles. My problem was that I could not let go of everything that was going on back on campus and everything that I was struggling with on a personal level. There was so much on my mind that I was not devoting myself in the moment to God. After I did, and after I let go, things were so much simpler. The point was that I have been fighting all of these external factors, and have ended up disappointed because I have always ended up losing these fights. I need to let things work out the way they are supposed to and not worry so much. Things happen for a reason, and it's ridiculous to get worked up about petty details. I should live life with a fluid plan. Goals of course, but room for change. I just need to be me and be happy with who I am. It is simple. There is nothing eye opening about what I've said yet so many of us struggle with this and struggle with letting go. I'm not perfect and I forget this fact on a daily basis, but I am learning and I can honestly say that I have surrendered.

Present:

FAMILY. When I arrived home from College Station the only ones here were my Grandma and a few of the younger kids. I sat at the table eating, while my Grandma told me stories about my mom and dad. I try to imagine what they were like and who they would be today. My dad seems like a rebel who liked getting into trouble. Definitely my brother. My mom seemed like a shy, gentle woman. That's my sister. Where do I fit in? Probably more like my mom, although I still have some rebellious traits, though not many. My family is so unique and I love being here with them and watching them interact. My aunt, 38 years old with nine kids; three adopted and six of her own. What an amazing woman. After being gone all summer I thought a lot about my family and pledged to talk to them more and visit more. The visiting has been hard, given there are no free weekends in the semester. I've talked with them constantly though, and I feel they are just as active in my life as if we were only a few minutes away, not four hours. I am blessed with a caring and supportive family who loves me to death and would go to the ends of the world for me. I would do the same for them.

B COMPANY. My other family, my other home, my life and my love. Never as a freshmen did I see myself as the B Company Commander, yet that's where I am now. I didn't get here just on my shear motivation, but on the motivation of my buddies, friends, and family. I have 25 freshmen who are frikin' awesome. The most fulfilling thing about the Corps is watching people develop. I love the lifestyle and sometimes it is something I can't get enough of. My A&M experience can be defined by a lot of things, but mainly B Company. It has made me who I am today, and for that I am very thankful.

OMC WACO. I have been "in" the Marine Corps about six months now with my unit being the Ordnance Maintenance Company in Waco, Texas. I am working as an armor, and honestly I am not enjoying it too much. We'll see what happens this next year, but I am almost positive that being an armor is not what I want to do. I just got put there by my recruiter and there is no way to change it. It's a bit disappointing but I guess it's not the end of the world.

Future:

GRADUATION. I'm sad to write that I will be graduating in December 2009, less than a year away. I wish I could be in Aggieland forever, but I guess all good things have to come to an end. I hate clichés, lol.

MARINE CORPS. After I graduate I have two options, possibly three. I can stay reserves, go to Graduate School, get a civilian job, or go overseas. Option two is to go active in the Marine Corps and see where that takes me. Option three involves me getting an Officer contract and seeing where that goes. That's what I would like to go, but as we know, I haven't had much luck getting a contract. We'll see what 2009 has in store.

GRAD SCHOOL. Graduate school is an option either after graduation or in the future. I would like to teach and then go to grad school to get my Master's in Education Administration to be a Principal and then eventually a Superintendent. Like I mentioned before, a fluid plan. Nothing set in stone.

LOVE. What is a reflection blog without mention of the l-word. I have let myself get close to being with someone with the possibility of falling in love, but never past that "maybe." Maybe I am selfish in this regard. I honestly don't see myself getting married or settling down in the next ten years. Maybe things will change or someone will come along, but knowing me, (and I know me pretty well), I just feel like I am too independent to commit myself wholly to someone else. My "taboo" came back into my life as friends, and ended badly, yet again. It was my fault because I didn't listen to my friends who warned me otherwise. Some people never change.

2009 Resolutions

I think I say this every year, but I want to write more.

Read a book, for fun.

Go to Mexico, and visit family.

Gain some weight and continue to work out.

Try to get an officer contract with the Marines.

"Days go by. I can see them flying like my hand out the window in the wind." I'm enjoying my time, especially time spent in Aggieland. I only have a year left as an undergraduate, as a member of the 12th Man, and only a semester left in the Corps. As we all now, one year is not very much time. I'm cherishing all my 'lasts': time with buddies, friends, at work, with the RV's, with my fish, and with the rest of B Company.

To a good year, filled with much hope and many blessings. 2009, here we come.