The Crazy Thing About Crazy Feelings

The deployment came sooner than we both expected. We said we wouldn’t grow close to each other for the reason that we both knew it was coming. Deployment to Afghanistan, lasting seven months. Despite this fact days, evenings, and nights were spent together. The day came and I was left here alone. It was an inevitable thing that I knew was coming; but that still didn’t stop how much the days after sucked. And that was the end of May…

It’s funny how we meet people in the most random of situations. The people we feel like we know pretty well, turn out to be completely different than we imagined, both good and bad. I like country music and I am generally reserved guy. To meet someone later on in the summer who is the complete opposite: funny, an extrovert, does impersonations, hates country… Does this seem like more of an annoyance or just someone who is not like me at all? Looking back I can say that it definitely wasn’t an annoyance. We met, we hung out, spent one of the most amazing nights of my summer together. Dinner from Layne’s, watching “Romy and Michelle,” drinking Bud Lime. Going out to the pool, talking about our lives, our families, our schools, all while drinking some Jack and Coke. Making our way to the hot tub, more talking, then kissing there under the stars. It was a beautiful night, with an amazing person. Bedtime came at 4 AM. I was overwhelmed at how fast we grew close to each other and how comfortable I was. I am still overwhelmed several days later.

Stuff like this always happens to me. Good things never last. We hung out on one of the last days of summer, during a time when they were preparing to leave the state to return back to school. Back to Dartmouth University in New Hampshire. What does this all mean, if anything at all? The thoughts, the smile, the laugh, the goofiness that usually doesn’t leave me feeling this way. But here I am, constantly thinking about it. Am I crazy for thinking this way? Am I crazy for planning a trip to New Hampshire? I am thinking logically, because obviously there is more to consider here than a simple crush. I am hoping for something good, but staying real. The texts and phone calls throughout the day don’t appease a thing. They just make me realize that yes, I am going crazy for someone; a feeling I haven’t felt in a while.

Maybe crazy is a good thing after all.

Bro, it’ll be aight.