Choosing Sides

Lately I have been spending a great amount of time on Twitter and Facebook, not only for your typical networking purposes, but actually for work. I’ve been reading a lot about how to use both of services as well as how to effectively market a non-profit organization. It has truly been a lot of fun, and I am very deep into my work.

Today as I was scrolling through some updates on Twitter I came across one from @equalityamerica that said: “Vatican Cardinal: Pro-Marriage Equality Advocates Are ’Not Catholics.’” I chuckled to myself, as I thought this was a bit absurd. I am very pro same-sex marriage, and at the same time I consider myself Catholic,… right? http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=102515

I sat here thinking for a while about Catholicism and my connection to it. I’ve been on my own for a bit here in DC and have been attending mass regularly. I lived my entire life surrounded by the Catholic Church. I was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby, I did my first Communion in the Church and I did my Confirmation in the Church. BUT – when I fall in love and meet the person I am supposed to marry I will either be 1) Not allowed to get married in the Catholic Church because of my choice of life partner or 2) Not get married in the Catholic Church because I would be considered a hypocrite for believing that every individual has the right to marry who they want. A comment on the story closely aligned to my sentiments:

“Only the Holy Father can speak for the whole Church, but if in fact he agrees with Caffarra, then no, you are not a Catholic. You either adhere to the teachings of your religion, or you get out. Nobody is going to excommunicate you because you’re only that important in your own mind, but if you take Communion while disobeying the Church, then you are a hypocrite, and you can answer for that however you choose.”

Key phrases: IF YOU TAKE COMMUNION and YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE. This makes sense to me. 100%. I am not naïve nor do I go along with popular belief. Thinking through it more I don’t believe I am truly Catholic, but instead believe that the Catholic Church provides me with a sense of comfort. Throughout my life, with everything I have been through, the Church has been there a sign that I was doing something right. It comforted me, it gave me hope, it taught me that the Lord is the truth and is life! These are still things I believe, but is this comfort a sign that I am simply Christian? Catholic? Or is there a difference? At this point in my life I feel like I should know the answer to this but I don’t. The more I think about it, I feel like I should be seeking truth in another religion that allows me to find a church that allows me to be comfortable with myself and not one that makes me feel like I am on a bus straight to hell because I wanted to be happy. It’s a clash of belief versus belief: the beliefs of the Catholic Church versus the beliefs of millions of others who believe that marriage and happiness is a HUMAN right. It’s about time I choose a side.